Who Am I?

Who am I?

This is a question I’ve been faced with lately.

Let me quickly bring you up to speed. At the end of August my job with my church ended. The contract was up. It was not renewed. I became unemployed.

When I joined the glorious ranks of the unemployed, I had delusions of a life doing all the things I’ve ever wanted to do, but never had the time. I dreamed of sleeping in, working on my guitar skills, doing some good for the environment, reading more, getting less unfit, and making travel plans.

Little of that has happened.

It turns out that being unemployed is far from glamorous. Actually, it’s tough stuff.

I’ve had to spend time alone with myself.

I don’t know how that happened. I never meant for that to happen. But it did.

And now I’m having to come to terms with the truth that my identity, the truth about who I am, has nothing to do with a job. This is hard stuff. I’m a man. We find our identity through what we do. Every job I’ve ever held gave me a title that secured my status. When I waited tables: I was a waiter. When I delivered the mail: I was the mail man.

So if I’m unemployed, what am I? Or rather: who am I?

I am no longer a waiter, a visitor info counselor, a mailman, or any of those things that my jobs made me.

And now in my last position, I was a pastor.

Am I no longer a pastor now?

Somehow that doesn’t seem to fit.

It occurred to me tonight that no one can take my calling away except the one who called me.

So, I can be a pastor, lose my job with a church, and still be a pastor all because my Creator made me to be a pastor.

This is good news as I’ve begun a new financial endeavor. It’s not a job exactly, but it takes a great deal of time and earns me a small income.

I’m now the guy who goes around the neighborhood picking the bottles and cans up out of the ditch, and I’d hate to think that my new identity is that of “can collector.”

There are actually many pluses to such a money making scheme. I’m learning that it’s a way to check a few of the “to-dos” off my list. Walking around the neighborhood is exercise, recycling and picking up trash is helping the environment, and I’ve got plenty of time to ponder new questions such as: how does one pastor when your flock has been taken from you?

Now, if you’re one who likes to keep track of my income, you’ll find it interesting to note that in the past year I went from working for Canada Post, to working for a church, to now foraging through ditches and shrubbery to find bottles and cans.

Sometimes living out our true identity means we won’t live a glamorous life.

Oh, and if you like, you can now refer to me as “The Bottle Barbarian” although I know that’s not really who I am.